Caught in the Middle: What Happens When Kids Resist Court Orders?
When the Federal Circuit and Family Court issues a parenting order, it’s legally binding on everyone involved, including children.
However, as children grow older and circumstances evolve, it's not uncommon for a child to express discomfort or disagreement with their living arrangements.
If your child is resisting or refusing to comply with a court-ordered arrangement, it's important to understand your legal obligations, your options and, most importantly, the best way to support your child through the process.
At a Glance
Struggling with a child who won’t follow court-ordered living arrangements? You’re not alone — and the legal system recognises that parenting isn’t always black and white. Here’s a quick overview of the key points this article covers:
Parenting orders are legally binding: and parents are expected to take all reasonable steps to ensure compliance, even if a child resists.
The child’s voice matters: especially if they’re older and can clearly express their preferences. However, there's no set age at which a child can override a court order.
Courts consider multiple factors: including emotional maturity, genuine reasoning, safety, parental capacity, and practical logistics.
A child’s ongoing refusal can justify a change: if it reflects a significant shift in circumstances, supported by evidence.
Mediation is usually required before changes: unless there are safety risks like family violence.
Legal consequences exist for inaction: but genuine efforts and documented support can protect your legal position.
Practical next steps include open communication, emotional support, professional help, and legal advice if needed.
No two families are the same, and neither are the solutions. Keep reading for detailed guidance on what to do when your child disagrees with a court-ordered arrangement and how to navigate the next steps with care and confidence.
Understanding Parenting Orders in Australia
Parenting orders are made under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) and may cover living arrangements, time spent with each parent, communication, and other parenting matters.
These orders are enforceable by law, and breaching them without a valid reason can lead to serious consequences.
According to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, if a child is not complying with a parenting order, the responsibility still lies with the parent to take all reasonable steps to ensure the order is followed.
However, this doesn’t mean a child’s preferences and emotional well-being are ignored by the legal system.
Can a Child’s Wishes Affect an Existing Parenting Order?
When a child starts resisting or objecting to a court-ordered living arrangement, it’s natural for parents to wonder how much influence their child’s wishes can have.
While the Federal Circuit and Family Court must follow the principle of acting in the best interests of the child, it does take the child’s views into account, particularly if they’re older and can express those views clearly.
For information on how the Court initially decides where a child will live, see our related article: How does the Court determine which parent the child shall live with?
There’s no set age at which a child can override a parenting arrangement. Instead, the court considers:
The child’s age and emotional maturity
Whether the views appear to be genuinely held or influenced by a parent or external pressure
How clearly and reasonably the child can explain their preference
Whether the arrangement is still practical and in their best interests
At the same time, the court will balance these views against other key best-interest considerations, such as:
The benefit of a meaningful relationship with both parents
The need to protect the child from harm
Each parent's capacity to meet the child's needs
Practical issues like location, schooling, and stability
If a child’s resistance reflects genuine distress or a significant change in circumstances, the court may consider reviewing or varying the existing orders, always keeping the child’s best interests at the centre of any decision.
However, it is important to note that a Court will not automatically revisit a Final Parenting Order. It has to be demonstrated that there has been a material change in circumstances.
What If My Child Refuses to Comply With the Order?
If your child refuses to follow the court-ordered living arrangement, the Federal Circuit and Family Court expects parents to take genuine and reasonable steps to encourage compliance.
However, the court also recognises that physically forcing a child (especially a teenager) is often neither safe nor appropriate.
Reasonable Steps to Comply: What Does the Law Expect of Parents?
You are not expected to force compliance at all costs, but the court does require you to try in good faith to uphold the order.
Examples of reasonable steps include:
Encouraging your child to attend scheduled time with the other parent
Avoiding negative talk about the other parent
Offering emotional support and listening to your child’s concerns
Seeking professional advice or counselling if needed
Ensuring logistical arrangements (transport, reminders, etc.) are in place
Failing to act or allowing a child’s refusal to become the default arrangement without doing anything could be seen as a breach of the order.
Please note that if there are immediate concerns to a child’s safety, it is important to ensure that their safety is upheld as the paramount consideration and then urgently seek legal advice.
There are sections of the Family Law Act that allow for non-compliance if there is a reasonable excuse to do so.
Can Parenting Orders Be Changed?
Yes, parenting orders can be varied if there has been a material change in circumstances since the original order was made.
A child’s strong, consistent objection may qualify as such a change, particularly when supported by evidence (e.g. reports from a psychologist or family consultant).
Before applying to court, most parents must attend Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) — a mediation service to help resolve issues out of court.
If FDR is unsuccessful or not appropriate due to risks like family violence, you can obtain a certificate allowing you to apply for a variation.
What Are the Legal Risks for Parents?
While courts are generally understanding about the challenges of parenting, failing to comply with a parenting order — even if a child is refusing — may result in legal consequences unless the court is satisfied that you took reasonable steps and or there was a reasonable excuse for the non-compliance..
Possible consequences of non-compliance include:
Being ordered to facilitate “make-up time” with the other parent
Attending parenting courses
Paying the other parent’s legal costs
Fines or, in extreme cases, imprisonment
However, these outcomes are rare and usually reserved for intentional or repeated breaches. If you can show that you encouraged your child to comply and acted responsibly, the court may take a more flexible approach.
Steps You Can Take If Your Child Is Resisting a Parenting Order
If you find yourself in this difficult position, here’s a checklist to guide your next steps:
Talk calmly with your child to understand their concerns
Reassure them that both parents care about their wellbeing
Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent
Consult a family lawyer to discuss the situation
Document your efforts to comply with the order
Seek professional support, such as counselling or family therapy
Attend Family Dispute Resolution if conflict continues
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a child choose which parent to live with in Australia?
Not directly. In Australia, a child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with. However, the Federal Circuit and Family Court must consider the child’s views under the Family Law Act 1975, particularly if the child is mature enough to express independent and well-reasoned preferences.
Ultimately, if the parents cannot agree, the court will decide based on what is in the child’s best interests.
What age can a child refuse to see a parent in Australia?
There is no set age. The court may give more weight to the views of an older or more mature child, but parenting orders remain legally binding regardless of age.
If a child refuses to see a parent, it's important for the parent to take reasonable steps to encourage compliance and seek legal advice if the issue continues. This is subject to any immediate and serious safety concerns.
What happens if my teenager refuses to comply with court orders?
The court recognises that it may be difficult — even impractical — to force a teenager to follow a parenting order. However, parents are still expected to make genuine efforts to comply.
If your teenager is persistently refusing, you may need to consider seeking a variation to the order through mediation or court.
Can parenting orders be changed if a child is unhappy?
Yes, but not automatically. You’ll need to demonstrate a significant change in circumstances, which may include a child’s strong and ongoing opposition to the arrangement.
Before applying to court, you usually must attempt Family Dispute Resolution unless there are risks like family violence.
Will I get in trouble if my child won’t go to the other parent?
Not necessarily - the court considers context. If you can show that you took reasonable steps to encourage your child to comply and that the refusal was not due to your influence or negligence, you are less likely to face penalties.
Still, it’s essential to document your efforts and seek legal guidance early.
When to Seek Legal Advice
Every family’s situation is different. If you're unsure about your legal responsibilities or how to respond to your child's objections, it’s essential to consult a family lawyer.
They can help assess whether you're at risk of breaching an order and guide you through the process of modifying arrangements if necessary.
Need Advice About Parenting Orders?
At Hamilton Thomas Family Lawyers, we understand how emotionally challenging and legally complex parenting disputes can be, especially when children don’t want to follow a court order.
Our experienced family law team is here to help you navigate your options, protect your legal position, and support your child’s well-being every step of the way.
Book a confidential consultation today to get practical, personalised advice from lawyers who genuinely care.
